Husband and I recently introduced the Kiddos to the wonders of The Cosby Show. Not the later episodes when they introduced Cousin Pam and immediately jumped the shark, the early stuff. When Theo needs to learn the ways of the world so those crazy Huxtables transform the house into the ‘real world.’ (Much like I did, Girl #2 immediately asked if she could be taught the same lessons and could we please please PLEASE turn our house into the ‘real world’?????) When those crazy Huxtables choreograph a dance not once but twice for the grandparents’ anniversary. When Denise makes Theo a jacked-up version of a designer shirt. (A moment of reality if I may? Come on, people. Those kids would not have accepted that fabric vomit of a shirt as ‘cool.’ But I digress.)
I didn’t appreciate Bill Cosby’s true genius when I was little and watched the show with my mom. Now that I have children of my own, I can see how precisely he nailed the fact that, as the Cos himself puts it, children don’t listen or pay attention to the world around them in any way, shape or form because they have brain damage.
(Quick sidebar – if you are a parent and you have not yet watched Bill Cosby: Himself, do it immediately. I’ll wait. Back? SEE??!?!?!?! Brain damage! For those of you that just barreled on through and kept reading, he doesn’t really mean literal brain damage. Kid brain damage – that part of the brain that lets the kid blissfully continue playing despite the fact that you have now yelled his name FIFTEEN TIMES. Deep breath. Moving on.)
We have three children. Girl #1, Girl #2 and The Boy. The Kiddos currently range from 6 to 11 years old. Being a parent has been grounding, enlightening, blah blah blah. (Um, have I mentioned my general black-heartedness? No? Well, Husband sometimes refers to me as Nurse Ratched. So there’s that.)
Anywho, each Kiddo fits very well personality-wise with the Huxtable kids. Girl #1 is Denise, Girl #2 is Vanessa and The Boy is Rudy with a healthy dose of Theo thrown in for good measure. While Girl #1 and Girl #2 will get their own introductions, today I want to sum up The Boy.
The Boy hurtles his way through life, hence his previous nickname of Captain Destructo. A current nickname is the Shirtless Wonder. The Boy would happily traipse through Target, visit the White House, have dinner with the Queen, etc. without a shirt. When the doors of our Fortress of Solitude close, The Boy’s shirt comes off. He can’t quite explain why the feel of cotton against his skin is so offensive, but it’s an almost Pavlovian response.
The Boy also loves his sisters very much. At 6, the greatest honor he can think of to express the depth of his love is to give his sisters nicknames. Girl #2 and The Boy are especially close and she consequently achieved nickname status first. One day they were playing LPS (that’s Littlest Pet Shop for those of you without elementary-aged girls) and I heard The Boy asking “Mares” to give him a certain pet.
The particular nickname caught my attention because it was the same nickname that the Kiddos’ great-grandfather used for Girl #2’s namesake. I called The Boy over to ask how he had come up with Mares. His response gives you everything you need to know about The Boy.
“Yeah, I call her Mares. I don’t know where I got it. And Mom, you can call me AIDS.”
Aaaaaaaaaaand scene.
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